It’s getting closer to Monday, the day when I will hopefully ditch my straight-leg brace and begin to wean off of my crutches. I have to say I am not going to miss my lovely, black, ergonomic crutches at all, although I get compliments on them wherever I go, due to their aforementioned ergonomic-ness and the quantity of sillybandz with which they are decorated. Why am I so excited to lose these accessories? Because they make life challenging in several different ways:
1) It is very difficult to participate in locker room dance parties. Have you ever tried to drop, drop it low while keeping your braced-leg straight out in front of you, balancing on the other leg, and clinging to crutch handles above your head for support? I haven’t quite mastered it, so I have to resort to controlled swaying.
2) I’m wearing out all my right-footed shoes. It’s just not worth it to put on the left one, since it’s never going to touch the ground anyway.
3) Ordering food at walk-up counters, such as at Chipotle or Cold Stone, is interesting. After successfully paying for the food, I stare at it helplessly and hungrily as it sits on the counter, then look around for a friend or teammate to prevail upon to carry it back to the table for me.
4) I get easily exhausted while shopping. After perusing 2 or 3 aisles or trying on maybe 2 articles of clothing, I gasp, “Guys . . . I really need . . . to sit down . . .”
5) My side of the dorm room remains a mess. It is simply too hard to crutch or hop on one foot around the room, bend down to pick books and clothes up from the floor, hang clothes in the closet, carry dirty dishes to the bathroom to wash them, put textbooks in a drawer or on a bookshelf, return right-footed shoes to the closet . . . you get the picture.
However, I can’t deny the several positives of being on crutches:
1) I automatically get shotgun whenever I ride in a car.
2) I have made friends with at least 7 cafeteria workers, who rush off to get me 2% percent milk and a chocolate-chip cookie with peanut butter as soon as they see me.
3) Crutches provide a great elevator conversation starter.
4) Cars always stop, even without stop-signs, to let me cross the street.
5) My arms and shoulders are becoming ripped 🙂
So, I guess I can’t complain too much . . . Nonetheless, I will shed no tears this Monday.
(Originally posted 10/22/10)