Ribsy, Part 2


As promised, I will continue to elaborate on my dog’s mental shortcomings! The worst part of the whole matter though is, I think he’s deteriorated even more since I last posted . . .

2) Ribsy, when left alone at home for any period of time longer than two seconds, is afflicted with severe separation anxiety and paranoia. My family can simply be sitting in the front yard talking and that is still just too far away for him to handle. He will yip and bark frantically while stumbling his way up our slippery wooden stairs, finally arriving at his destination – my parents’ room. He leaps up onto their California King-sized bed in order to be on the same level as the windows there that face the front yard. He then commences his frantic yipping and barking, comforted in the fact that we can hear him even better than before. 

When we finally do return to the house, he performs an elaborate welcome ceremony for us. He rushes out of the front door as soon as it is opened, bolting past us as if he doesn’t even notice us. Once he reaches the driveway, he runs back to us, past us, and into the house. Then he runs back out to the driveway. This is repeated several times. Finally he takes a break to breathe so that he can howl and cry out a welcome . . . sound . . . for us. He circles our feet excitedly so that we trip over him, causing him to yelp in pain. (Then he realizes he’s okay – it didn’t actually hurt.) Finally, once we all settle down in the same room and appear to have the intention of staying there for a while, he plops down gratefully on the floor, utterly exhausted and overjoyed. Then he falls asleep.

3) Ribsy is also a stalker. If he likes you, he will follow you at your heels – and I mean right at your heels – wherever you go. If you venture to the office to write an email, he will fall asleep directly behind your chair. When you try to back up the chair, he will leap up into the air and run out of the way, then follow you out of the room. If you try to open the dishwasher, he will stand directly under the door, staring at you, until it touches him on the back. Then he will bolt and hide under the kitchen table. If you go to the bathroom and shut the door (because you really don’t want him to follow you in), he will lay down right outside the door and wait for you until you come out. If he has to go to the bathroom himself, he will sit in front of you and stare at you. It is rather disconcerting. He will not stop staring at you until you escort him to the back door. 

4) Finally, Ribsy can jump three times his body height. This can be observed whenever he is waiting by the back door to be let out, or whenever he is left alone in the backyard and demands to be let. back. in. The most amazing thing is: he never gets tired. So he never stops jumping. The noise produced by his jumping is a very effective persuasion tactic, and he knows it.

That’s all I will trouble you with for now. Be reassured that despite Ribsy’s difficulties, I love him. He doesn’t mind me too much, either.

Go hug a dog,

Posted 23rd April 2009 by Cassie


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