For My Next Trick, I Will Interpret My Own Dreams!

I hereby certify that I did indeed dream each of these dreams and I have not taken creative license in recording the details/events therein.

Dream #1: A dear friend informed me that after taking a blood sample, she had discovered 3x the normal amount of protein in my blood, most likely due to my excessive consumption of beef jerky.  Later in the same dream, I realized I had an intense craving for pancakes from Snooze: An A.M. Eatery.  It was 4pm, but I went anyway and was served strawberries, broccoli, and celery as appetizers before my pancakes were brought out.  Waiting for said pancakes made me late for volleyball practice.

Interpretation: Strange food cravings indicate subject is pregnant has succumbed to Starving Athlete Syndrome (SAS) and should increase daily food intake from four meals to six.

Dream #2: I discovered that my family had a total of six bottles of honey scattered around the house; some were half-empty and others only had a drop or two of honey left inside.  I proceeded to freak out and then painstakingly transfer honey from bottle to bottle until we were left with two full bottles of honey.

Interpretation: Subject has been suppressing early signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Dream #3: I was on a guided tour of a movie set where I got to meet each and every member of the production team.  However, it was a Batman movie, so he was all I really cared about.  I finally spotted him and tackled him to the ground in my excitement, but he shushed me because suddenly we were in a video game and he was on the lookout for “The Enemy.”  Someone was kidnapped and taken to a grocery store (gasp!!) I grabbed Batman’s hand and pulled him up when he fell off a cliff.  We saved the day.

Interpretation: Subject has delusions of grandeur and also exhibits a real soft spot for Christian Bale.

Dream #4: There was an awesome Halloween bash with a HUGE display that utilized the sky by projecting a graphic onto it that highlighted all the constellations.  The spectacle also included animatronics of evil Disney step mothers, witches, cats, ghosts, vampires, etc., and every three minutes a cloud of large skull “bubbles” would descend on those watching.  They frightened me, so I hid behind my younger sister.

Interpretation: Subject is fascinated by Halloween and yet also repelled by it – must explore further.  Is also a scaredy-cat.

Dream #5: I was biking back to my neighborhood, but as soon as I hit a familiar three-stop-sign T-intersection, there were suddenly hordes of people EVERYWHERE.  They were all dressed in band uniforms, and they were rehearsing for something.  There were archers, judo practitioners, shotput throwers, marching band members with their instruments, dancers, high-kickers…everything imaginable.  I struggled to make my way through the crowd on my bike, and that’s when I discovered what they were rehearsing for: the International Dustbusters Competition.

Interpretation: I give up…

-Cassie

Challenge: If you’re brave enough, comment below with one of your oddest dreams, and I will offer an amateur yet informed interpretation. Go on, I dare you.

(Image: Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh)

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19 thoughts on “For My Next Trick, I Will Interpret My Own Dreams!

  1. Haha … I just came across this and it was hilarious. And … I am not sure I want to hear what you’d interpret for a dream of mine … but I will take the challenge anyway and hope I am not reduced to being analyzed as some totally freakish freak.

    Dream: About 4 or 5 years ago. I was out for a walk at my work place when I was supposed to be working. (There is a park nearby where I work.) A squirrel jumped in front of me and did not let me pass. But I challenged him (or her … not sure) to a fight. The fight didn’t happen but the squirrel let me pass by and I recall thinking something like, “take that Mr. Ninja Squirrel”.

    Why I remember this dream is beyond me.

    • Haha if you refer back to one of my previous posts, you’ll find that I believe squirrels are pretty much the epitome of all evil, so this interpretation is easy: in the cosmic battle between good and evil, you are squarely on the side of good, and you are winning! Keep up the great work, because I swear the squirrels are after me.

  2. Hahaha just came across this. It seriously made my day! If you don’t mind, I shall take you up on your offer as well. Mind you, it’s a little insane. Any interpretive help would be greatly appreciated.
    Dream: Last night I dreamed that I was part of a Russian royal family (presumably the Romanovs, but nobody ever actually mentioned the name). I know there is a large development portion of the dream I don’t actually remember, but from the point where my own recall begins, I (my character) was in love with the stable boy, Andreas (I do not know anybody with that name). He led me to a room full of mirrors and asked me if I would aid him in overthrowing my father (the czar) so that we could marry. I refused. The next thing I knew, I was running through the castle halls with my cousins trying in vain to find the ammunition room. Once there (it was opened by removing the correct sequence of books on a shelf), Andreas began shooting at us, but we gained the upper hand. He fled. We each called our respective horses (note the irony) and pursued on horseback until we had cornered him in the rafters of an enormous ballroom. He began firing again, so we ran, but I was hit in the leg, and I remember being surprised that he would actually try to kill his lover. Then I woke up.

  3. Cassa, I’m not a professional dream interpreter nor have I ever played one on TV. But that doesn’t mean with some thought, and maybe a quick shot of cinnamon whiskey, I’m not capable of offering my input on what that last dream means. Actually, I think the meaning is pretty simple: You have a secret desire to be on an episode of Glee that is a retrospective of the three Ghostbusters movies. However, you also have a cleaning fetish. The result is a dream incorporating those factors, i.e. “Who Ya Gonna Call? Dust BUSTERS!”

    • Wow Ned, thank you for this insightful assessment! I think the cinnamon whiskey made you trip up on just one aspect though: I definitely do not have a cleaning fetish (just ask my roommate…) Guess I better start Googling Glee auditions! Thanks for stopping by.

      • I knew I was making a pretty large assumption with the cleaning fetish diagnosis. But hey — two out of three isn’t bad. In fact, I’m sure that’s what Jeff Dahmer’s child psychologist eventually told himself.

  4. Let’s see, which one? It seems I have the most vivid (or the ones I remember) dreams in the morning. Last one I remember I was alone in my house when I had a home invasion!! I had to ‘re-dream’ this one several times to find the perfect hiding place. After pretty much deciding that no place was perfect, I finally convinced myself that it was only a dream and woke up. However, I was in a bad mood most of the morning….

    • Isn’t it strange how dreams can affect your mood for the rest of the day?! I remember dreaming once that I had finished every item on my to-do list for the week, including having a difficult conversation with a friend; when I woke up and realized I had accomplished nothing, I was furious…

  5. I interpret your second dream as a sign that you have a secret desire to become a beekeeper.

    Here’s one of my weirder ones: I dreamt that I saved my brother from being attacked by an elk. Sounds plausible, only this elk had no horns and wasn’t frightening in any way at all.

  6. Dare Accepted. I usually don’t dream but people tell me always everyone dreams, if I do dream I don’t remember them, on the rare occasion that I do dream and remember, it’s a big one. Here goes my dream this week: I drove my Tahoe (which I sold years ago) to a rented garage were I stored my boat. I wanted to take it out for a ride on the lake no kids no husband, just me. The teenager who lived there started talking to me and I got distracted, the boat started to roll down her steep driveway onto the very windy road. I started to run after it. The the Tahoe also started to roll down the hill, nose first straight for the lake’s launch when it mysteriously turned it’s own wheel and came back up the hill and proceeded to roll itself up and down the hills. Both the boat and the truck continued to roll up and down the hilly neighborhood, I continued to run up and down the hills in search for both, along the way asking for help, no one saw a thing. I thought “there is a boat and a truck just rolling around the hills unattended by a driver and no one sees anything?” Exhausted and panicky from running & searching up and down, up and down, found nothing. Then woke thankfully from the dream. Ur turn.
    Jaime

    • Dreams can be really hard to remember! I try to write my epic ones down as soon as I wake up, but sometimes I can’t even remember them for that long..

      Haha WOW that is a hilarious dream. It clearly means that you have a “Sixth Sense” type ability to see dead people (represented by your ability to see your rolling car and boat while others could not) that is “activated” whenever you are away from your family. So I hate to break it to you, but that nice woman who sat next to you on the plane during your last solo trip was a ghost..

      Thanks for reading! 🙂

  7. Ok…I have two dreams that need interpreting!

    #1 Recently I had a dream that I was trying to get my 17 year old to drive the frying pan home with the other kids in it. He hadn’t ever driven a frying pan before and wasn’t really comfortable doing so. I decided to go ahead and take them back to their dad’s in the frying pan. There were no wheels on it, but if we leaned back it would slide along the ground. And it was a good size frying pan, too. Several people could sit in it at once. Once I woke up I realized that it was more of an iron skillet than a frying pan, but in the dream we used the words frying pan.

    • (Please excuse t5nhe st5ranhbge cnharact5ers inh my6 responhse, my6 key6bgoard is currenht5ly6 bgrokenh)
      First5 of all, t5nhis is a nhilarious dream – I love it5. T%wo inht5erpret5at5ionhs: 1) y6our sonh is unhcomfort5abgle cookinhbg onh nhis ownh, anhd 2) y6ou st5ronhbgly6 idenht5ify6 wit5nh cnharact5ers inh t5nhe Disnhey6 movie T%anhbgled (“Frying pans – who knew??”)

      • I haven’t seen Tangled which almost seems sinful, but I can go with the uncomfortable cooking on his own thing!

        (BTW – I saw every Disney movie ever made a million and one times until my kids were old enough to go to the movies with friends. Since then I am way out of the Disney loop.)

  8. I came across your blog fairly recently and you are a hoot ! Loved reading this post, since I have too many of these confusing dreams of my own, involving random animals, humans and a bizarre surrounding of some sort.
    So, I went to USC for two years and that’s where my dream takes place. I’m at one of the parties in McCarthy Quad, with a whole big bunch of friends (most of whom weren’t even supposed to be in the United States) and we were dancing away, when an apocalypse hit. No zombies or godzillas or anything remotely that big – it was a ‘dogs-going-crazy’ apocalypse. Dogs were jumping and biting everything in sight. Even the cuddly, small ones. So I ran into a near-by dorm and hid out there with my friends in a room that felt more like a forgotten attic. Then I realised my bff was missing, so I ran out like a lethal ninja (dog fights scare me so I don’t know whether that was bravery or plain stupidity) and tried to find her. When I do spot her, finally, she’s running off with Ben Affleck and the dogs are following them like an army pack. And I’m confused as hell. And suddenly everything’s back to normal again. As though the strangest apocalypse-thingy didn’t ever hit us. I’m back at the party but weirdly, my bff is not there. Neither is Ben Affleck.

    imthewodnerd.blogspot.in

    • Thanks for reading, and for sharing this fantastic dream! I have a sinking feeling that it is an accurate vision of future events… This tells me that I should start preparing for the apocalypse if and when Ben Afflect and Jennifer Garner split. Thank you for the heads up

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